Forever In My Heart

About a month ago, I was thinking of an upcoming event that is for those who have went through a miscarriage.  That inspired me to write this poem.  I was there…if my memory serves me correctly, I first miscarried on January 23, 2012.  It was a hard, sad, and confusing time.  But God was so faithful in sending us support and love, from family, friends, and those who have been there.  After many fertility treatments and appointments, God blessed us with a pregnancy.  At the first ultrasound after a positive pregnancy test, and hearing our baby’s heartbeat, we saw there was a twin that had also begun to form, but just didn’t quite make it, and I miscarried that baby very early on.  The other grew to full term, and is now our beautiful, full of life little boy!

If I’m being honest, though, there was always a piece of my heart that was sad until our boy was born.  It didn’t mean I had no joy or peace, but…some sadness.  The loss is very real, and one we need to grieve.  But, the good news is, there is hope in God.  He has peace for us in the hard times, even when it doesn’t make sense.  And, He wants to pour out His love in your life.

I hope this poem will be of encouragement to you.

~Tara

My baby, you knew the beating of my heart

The heart of a mother that grew in the thought of knowing and loving you

I know that physically you’re no longer here

But you will always be a part of me, in my mind and my heart

Both now and for all eternity

My heart has ached in missing you

I loved knowing you were there

Always with me, growing and developing

With this nothing can compare

But now, life has taken me down a different road

I can’t walk this one alone, for to me this territory is unknown

So, to others I reach out

For I could use a helping hand

A listening ear, a kind word, an act of love

Something to help give me strength to stand

And as time moves along, and God brings healing to my heart

I look for the chance to do this in others

For I’ve been there, I’ve lived that part

I think about what you’d be like and how old you’d be

About how life would be different

If you were here with me

But since you’re not, I’d like to think that you’re in heaven now

Laughing and playing in God’s presence

Filled with as much joy as one heart will allow

I don’t know when it will happen, but I look forward to seeing your sweet face

And squeezing you so tightly in one big long embrace

Until then, I know you’re safe and can trust you’re in the best place you could be

There with your Creator

Living happy and carefree

And now my heart’s desire is that beauty will come from this pain

For before we see that beautiful rainbow

We must first endure the rain

My baby, my sweet love

Forever in my heart

No one can ever take you from me

From there you never will depart

 

Verses for hope, peace, and encouragement:

Psalm 46:1-3–God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him.  We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom, courageous in seastorm and earthquake, Before the rush and roar of oceans, the tremors that shift mountains.  Jacob-wrestling God fights for us, God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.  (The Message)

Psalm 55:22–Pile your troubles on God’s shoulders-he’ll carry your load, he’ll help you out…(The Message)

Jeremiah 30:17–‘ But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the Lord,…(NIV)

Romans 15:13–May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  (NIV)

2 Corinthians 1:3-5–All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah!  Father of all mercy!  God of all healing counsel!  He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.  We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort-we get a full measure of that, too.

Love: More than a Feeling

February…just last month, is kind of known as the “month of love”, right?  (with Valentine’s Day and all)  But, what really is love?  If you askTina Turner, she might say, “What’s love got to do with it?” (as she sang in her popular hit by that title) 😉

The word love is thrown around in various ways such as loving pizza or sleep, to your spouse, kids, and Jesus.  It’s the same word used to describe a feeling for a variety of things,  but there’s no way it could mean the same thing in every circumstance.

In looking up its definition (from rhymezone.com), here are some of the meanings listed:

Love (noun): 1. any object of warm affection or devotion. 2. a deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction. 3. a strong positive emotion of regard and affection.

Love (verb): 1. have a great affection or liking for. 2. be enamored or in love with. 3. get pleasure from.

It seems that many of these definitions have to do with a feeling.  I certainly get that to an extent.  I’m a “feeler”.  I have a sensitive heart, both regarding myself and (I’d like to think) situations regarding others.  But, is true love really based primarily on an emotion,…a feeling?

Don’t get me wrong.  I love (there’s that word again!) the “feeling” of loving something.  It’s a happy feeling and gets those endorphins flowing.  Such as loving my husband, loving my baby boy, and other people and matters of importance.  But, what if my husband hurts my feelings or makes me mad, or my son is having a bad day and not listening very well?  What if I’m not having that “feeling” of warm affection, as the definition states?  Does that mean my love for them has gone out the window?  Let’s hope not, and the answer to that question is no!

Being that I’m an emotional creature, and when saying something, want to mean it and feel it with every ounce of my being, I’ve had my times of confusion of love’s true meaning.  But, thank the Lord for His definition of love, shown to us through the ultimate love letter to all mankind,…The B-I-B-L-E.  Let’s see what it has to say about this four letter “L” word.

We can start off by looking at the first part of one of the most famous verses in scripture, John 3:16: “This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son.” (the Message)  The key word here is gave, ..and not something insignificant….something priceless.

And, how important is love, really?  I Corinthians 14:1 says: Go after a life of love as if your life depended on it-because it does. (the Message)  Wow!  My life…your life…and the quality of it depends on love.  If this is the case, hopefully we will endlessly pursue knowing what love is truly all about!

And, if we have confusion regarding it, God makes it plain to us in the passage often quoted at weddings, and maybe even some funerals.  You can guess it, right?  Yep….I Corinthians 13.  (shared from The Message, verses 4-8)

-So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

-Love never gives up.

-Love cares more for others than for self.

-Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

-Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head.

-Doesn’t force itself on others.

-Isn’t always “me first”.

-Doesn’t fly off the handle.

-Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others.

-Doesn’t revel when others grovel.

-Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth.

-Puts up with anything.

-Trusts God always.

-Always looks for the best.

-Never looks back, but keeps going to the end.

-Love never dies.

And, really, our prime example is God.  He not only so loves us, as John 3:16 shares, but He Himself is love.  I John 4:17 tells us this:

God is love.  When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God, and God lives in us.  This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day-our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s.  There is no room in love for fear.  Well-formed love banishes fear.  Since fear is crippling, a fearful life-fear of death, fear of judgement-is one not yet fully forrmed in love. (The Message)

So, true love based on a feeling?  Not according to the One Who is (love) and the lover and Creator of our souls.  Every day we each likely have various opportunities to choose to show love.  Not just to feel  love, but, again,…to show it.  Have you been praying for someone, but just not seeing the results quite yet?  (Love never gives up..)  Does everything and everyone always need to revolve around your “wants and needs”?  (Love isn’t always “me first”)  Are we stuck in regret and the negativity of our past?  (Love never looks back, but keeps going to the end)

Living life based on our feelings, is one of instability and probably eventually downfall.  Oh, God, please continue to reveal to us love’s true meaning and develop in us these strong attributes of love!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Empty Canvas

Another year has come and gone

As we’ve reached the end of one

And approach the waking of a new dawn

 

Was your year filled with sadness, triumphs, challenges, regrets?

On the scale of life, are your victories winning

Or is it your upsets

 

Regardless of what was

The negatives do not need to still be

Yes, bad things may have happened

But choose to use them as an opportunity

 

A chance for positive change, new insight, and hopefully growth

Let this year be one where we make to ourselves a new kind of oath:

 

To be honest with ourselves, as well as with others

To not see yourself as insignificant

Or as a bother

 

To reach out to God and to others when we need a helping hand

Knowing with God on our side, no matter what, we’ll be able to stand

 

And, no matter what may be happening,

Don’t forget to think of others

Focusing on our problems will only bring us down

Someone may need you…reach out to your sisters and your brothers

 

As we do, we’ll realize that we’re not alone

You may be helping them

But as you are a healing is taking place in you that may have otherwise been postponed

 

Strength is coming…Let go of regret

God is working behind the scenes

And doing things we’re not aware of yet

 

Let’s focus on the future, and not get held up in the past

For if we do, great opportunities may pass us by and fast

 

God’s mercies are continual and anew every single day

It’s amazing the freedom you feel when you receive this

And the strength and wisdom He gives when we pray

 

Bumps in the road do happen to everyone from time to time

Life’s mountains may seem intimidating

But, they’re not too high to climb

 

This year is like an empty canvas

Waiting for the paint

The options here are endless

What picture will you make?

 

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